Back from a family vacation -- the folks, brother/sister-in-law, niece and nephews -- to Lake of the Ozarks. Chilly, damp days spent mostly watching the free entertainment embodied by a 2-year-old whose infinite inflectual variations on "Da-doh" can mean anything from "Daddy" to "Mommy" to "refill on the juice, por favor" to "would y'all stop with the googly eyes and the tickly fingers for one freakin' minute, please?"
A detour the first night to Great Wolf Lodge in Kansas City. Manufactured, overpriced fun -- but fun it was. Water slides rule!
Cliche, I know, but it is hard watching one's parents age. Mine are becoming slower, more anxious. My dad's hearing almost completely gone, and while he has hearing aids he seems to prefer the solitude of deafness, insulated from participating in the conversation until he senses the opportunity for a monologue. And wanting to still be of use, but efforts at "helping" usually just put him in the way. As far as Mom goes, one must always feign great enthusiasm or risk hurt feelings.
My ex-mother-in-law died the day before we left. I'm recognizing the need to reconcile my adult relationship with my parents now, so I don't have lingering regrets when it's too late.
Home, now, from our little family adventure; wallowing gleefully in solitude.
------------
Not a moment of Peace.
I was so sure I'd come home to a letter informing me where I'll be heading this summer. Miz Jill even checked my mail daily, all for naught. (Thanks, J!)
Emailed my placement officer today to see if there's any news. The ever-cryptic Peace Corps response: "You have been qualified for service and are currently being reviewed for available projects that can accommodate your medical needs. Once a project has been identified, you will be contacted regarding the next steps. Thanks so much for your continued patience and flexibility."
But just now, obsessively checking my online application status, where I swear it previously said "Peace Corps has completed your medical review. There are no medical holds on your account at this time," it now says: "A decision has been reached regarding your medical review. Please look for a letter in the mail."
Which is what it said before I got my rejection letter.
I am trying not to worry.
patienceisavirtue...patienceisavirtue...patienceisavirtue ...
------------
Further thanks to Miz Jill for urging me to read "The Poisonwood Bible." One of those books I miss, like a good friend, now that I've finished it. If I didn't have so much else to do, I'd dive right back into it again.
The right book at the right time. A reminder that we Americans are hardly the saviors of the African continent; in too many cases, we are the cause of much of their wars, their poverty in the face of great natural resources. As a Peace Corps volunteer I won't be swooping down with my red Mighty Mouse cape to save the day.
I think of more as reparations. We have done much in the name of our country to hurt Africa; I hope to do some small part to atone, to set right.
A reminder, also, that we in the "developed" world do not have all or even most of the answers. Sit on my hands for a good while, observe and immerse myself, before leaping to solution conclusions.
------------
Currently reading:
"The Invisible Cure: Africa, The West, and The Fight Against AIDS" by Helen Epstein
11 comments:
Your virtues are ample.
Um, those aren't my virtues, William.
;-)
Watching your parents age is really hard. My mother had a small stroke last year and has physically gone downhill ever since. Shaky on her feet, walks with a cane, the whole bit. My wife's parents are around 15 years younger and physically are much the same way my mom used to be, energetic with the urge to GO. I can hardly believe it.
Found out my dad turns 90 this week.
Isn't Jill fabulous?
thanks baby! so is miz becki, and all will work out for her as it should.
Becki,
I definitely know how you feel seeing your parents age. The weird thing is, in a lot of ways they're living more than I am and they inspire me. They're retired, my dad substitute teaches, my mom spent two weeks painting and tiling my house while I was out of town.
They're both starting to finally get old but, damn, are they inspiring. I just want to make sure I can give them what they've given me.
Ooh, good. You finished The Poisonwood Bible. It's a great book and it explores U.S. relations with that part of the world you won't see outside of Muhammad Ali documentaries.
Hi! Thanks for your comment. I'm excited that you found my journal (and now I have yours!).
Good luck with everything!
Cheers,
Christie
i just got that same message with my peace corps app. (and googled it to find other people who had.) i, too, fear rejection.
:(
Mini update: Supposedly, I've been "placed" ... which I think means they've found a site/program for me. But apparently the paperwork hasn't been completed yet, cuz ... no letter. Still. Yet. But there will be!
Anonymous: Don't worry too much. When I got that message, it was because they'd sent a letter telling me my appeal (of my original rejection) was successful. Good luck -- let me know how it goes for you!
Post a Comment